and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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