I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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