i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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