Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize