dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Alive.
So much puke
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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