Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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