No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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