my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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