Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
