i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
