Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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