WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
