You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
