I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
