I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
