Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
