On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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