"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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