HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
