Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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