Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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