i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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