so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
