I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
