Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize