now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
