This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
