I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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