just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
