True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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