And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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