So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
vagina is talking i cant
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize