I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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