I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize