I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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