do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
