i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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