I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
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