Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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