Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
