I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
