Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
