All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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