she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
