Say something about gay babies.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
