As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
