NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
