Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
