I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
