it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
