okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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