About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
