Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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