hotel room ftw
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
