dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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