the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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