Where is the hickey?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
