You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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