I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
