best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
