I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
