So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
