I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
