I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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