My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
