Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
