you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
