I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
