She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
