Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
