Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize