At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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