Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
