Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
