ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
