Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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