Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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