They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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