I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
