Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Less talking, more tequila
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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