Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
