if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
