we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
